How to make transformational decisions?

The importance of decision making

If you were to draw or present a path that led to big changes, what would it look like?

Rarely would it be a straight line.

The entire drawing or map would be full of zigzag patterns. All the events, people you met, and what you went through would be on it as well. In other words, it would be a complex path that started with you making a small decision. At first, it can be difficult to recognize how everything started. Also, it can be a real eye-opener to understand the short-term and long-term impacts and effects on your life and the world around you.

All the choices and decisions we make shape us into who we are on physical, mental, emotional, social, and other levels. The pleasure-pain principle developed by Sigmund Freud points out that people make decisions to minimize pain or maximize pleasure. The level of pain or pleasure is the driving force behind each decision. When we raise awareness of our responses, we understand better what’s behind our choices, motivation, and actions. E.g., discerning if we want to avoid pain or gain pleasure in the short or the long run can help us reduce the negative consequences.

Why emotional intelligence is the key to making good decisions

If you contemplate on how you make decisions, you will realize that emotions play an important role. Understanding what you feel, what your emotions mean, and how your emotions affect others and yourself in different contexts refers to a high degree of emotional intelligence. Also known as emotional quotient or EQ, it consists of the following skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

How much are we aware of our emotions that are connected to different situations?

The effects of incidental anxiety or anxiety induced by an unrelated situation on risk-taking show us how vital it is to remove biases from our decision-making process. As an example, some people who commute to work and become anxious in a traffic jam, may not be good decision-makers at the workplace after that. The reason is that they can’t figure out the actual source of their emotions. They are likely influenced by emotions that are irrelevant to the decisions they make. Studies have shown that individuals who have higher levels of ability to understand emotions can identify which events elicited emotions. Also, they can discern if those emotions are relevant to their current decisions. As a result, they are less likely to show a negative carry-over effect of incidental anxiety on risk-taking (Yip & Côté, 2012/2013).

How self-guided retreat helps you increase your emotional intelligence

When you decide to retreat, you will discover the strengths and skills that you never knew you had. There won’t be others who can distract you from what you truly want. The noise of the outside world and your internal dialogue may not have given you enough silence for clear thinking. A self-guided retreat is a perfect solution for you to get more insights, clarity, and peace.

One of its tools that can help you be more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations is mindfulness. It is the ability to purposefully pay attention to internal and external experiences without judgments and in the present moment.

Being more mindful is a powerful personal growth decision. Here are some guidelines that can help you practice mindfulness effectively and therefore, improve your emotional intelligence and ability to make the calls.

• Reconnect with your body sensations and feelings. Ask yourself: “Where in my body do I feel the pleasant/unpleasant feelings or sensations?” Whatever arises in the present moment, observe it with no judgment. Witness how it appears and disappears.
• Reflect on what thoughts, emotions, or biases may be influencing your judgments. Think about how they impact your short-term and long-term decisions.
• While being aware of your inner world, notice your critical voice. Show yourself some compassion, kindness, and love.
• Learn to respond, not react. Recall some past event. Imagine how you make a pause and then act without being reactive. Notice how you feel in these moments. Notice how your mindful responses affect other people.
• Imagine how you are dedicated to listening to the other person. Do it with your undivided attention and empathy. Think about what you can learn from this experience.
   

Transformation starts with the decision to change. Without a decision, you will stay where you have always been. Following the decision, you start to build more emotional intelligence skills, become more mindful, and open to personal growth. Self-retreats are perfect places to help you achieve success. Remember that decision leads to action and small consistent steps lead to big changes.

 

Reference

Yip, J. A., & Côté, S. (2013). The emotionally intelligent decision maker: emotion-understanding ability reduces the effect of incidental anxiety on risk taking. Psychological Science, 24(1), 48–55. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612450031